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How to Talk to Family & Friends About Hashimoto’s During the Holidays

By December 12, 2017 No Comments

Maybe your Hashimoto’s diagnosis is not something you discuss often, but during the holiday season it’s bound to come up in conversation. Perhaps you’re dealing with a flare up of fatigue and you have to cancel party plans at the very last minute. Or you’re giving AIP a try and need to explain your dietary restrictions to a host. Maybe you’re feeling low right now and someone in your life has noticed that you’re not exuding your share of Christmas cheer. But one way or another, chances are good that you’re going to be talking to family and friends about Hashimoto’s before the new year.

Explaining Hashimoto’s thyroiditis in a nutshell is hard. You can tell people it’s an autoimmune disease, but that assumes that most of the people in your life are even aware of autoimmunity as a condition. You can tell them it affects they thyroid, but again that’s you making the assumption that the people around you know what the thyroid does. And in both cases, you’re really not addressing the complex nature of Hashimoto’s and the broad range of symptoms you may be dealing with on a daily basis.

Of course, your journey with Hashimoto’s is your own and you’re under no obligation to explain your condition or your choices related to it. That said, most of us probably are pretty open with family and friends about the impact of autoimmunity on our lives (maybe you’ve shared this or this or this with them). It’s just that the people around us who aren’t dealing with a chronic condition like Hashimoto’s can have a tendency to forget that autoimmunity isn’t something that goes away once you’ve been prescribed medication and that you can’t just turn it off when the holiday season rolls around.

It’s not like you don’t want to join in all the holly jolly fun. You can’t, whether it’s because trying to do it all will stress your adrenals or trying to eat it all will destroy your digestive system. Sugar hangovers? Are real. Gluten is in pretty much everything on the dessert table. And staying up late is a major no-no when you’re trying to not just cope with, but actually heal Hashimoto’s. So how do you explain all this to the special people in your life? Here are some responses to things you may hear friends and family say around the holidays.

When loved ones ask you why you can’t indulge “just this once,” say…

My goal is remission! It’s not about restricting myself at all. I’m trying to live my best life so I can feel good enough to enjoy the things that really matter.

When someone suggests you’re being difficult because you can’t eat this or that, say…

I’m not just being picky! Because of Hashimoto’s, my system reacts very badly to certain foods. I wish I could join you at the buffet but I want to be able to really enjoy the party.

When someone gets annoyed that you’ve cancelled on them, say…

I wouldn’t be that much fun! Imagine how you’d feel if you had insomnia for weeks straight – that’s how I feel sometimes even when I’ve gotten ‘enough’ rest. I’d love to have you by for a quiet evening of chatting soon, though!

When people ask why you can’t just pop a pill, say…

I am taking medication! (If you are, obvi.) The problem is that thyroid medication is only one piece of the puzzle. Autoimmunity attacks my thyroid but it’s a whole body condition and there’s no pill for treating autoimmunity.

When well-meaning people ask you when you’ll finally be over it, say…

Autoimmunity is a lifetime condition! I’m working toward remission but the journey from diagnosis to remission can take a while and then I’ll have to maintain my remission.

When somebody tells you someone they know cured their Hashimoto’s by doing X, Y, and Z, say…

Thanks for the recommendations! One of the things that makes autoimmunity so challenging to treat is that patients are so different, so what works for one person might not work for another.

When a host implies you have to have a firm RSVP, say…

I’m sorry Hashimoto’s makes it hard to commit. I just don’t know how I’ll be feeling on any given day. If my being a maybe is really going to make your event stressful, I understand.

And when someone mentions your changing weight, say…

It’s a Hashimoto’s symptom – and it’s also none of your business!

Honestly, having Hashimoto’s during the holidays is HARD. It’s a busy, stressful, food and alcohol laden time of the year, and all that can add up to major autoimmune flare ups. No matter what the people around you think about it, your first priority should always be taking care of yourself and appreciating time with your immediate family. Maybe that means a quiet holiday at home this year, and that is nothing to be ashamed of! Appreciating your blessings is, after all, what the holiday season is all about!

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